Risk. For many parents, the word alone can trigger fear, worry, or an urgent desire to protect. But for young people, risk is an essential part of growing up. It’s how teenagers learn who they are, what they value, and how to navigate the world with confidence.
The challenge for parents is that risk feels dangerous yet avoiding it altogether can leave teenagers without the skills they need to make good decisions later in life. So how do we balance our fears with their need to grow?
Risk is a normal part of growing up
Teenagers are wired to explore, push boundaries, and experiment. This is biology, not defiance. The parts of the brain responsible for planning, impulse control, and long-term thinking are still developing — and won’t fully mature until around age 25.
This means young people might act quickly, misjudge danger, or focus more on immediate rewards than consequences. It’s also why they’re so influenced by peers and the desire to belong. If a behaviour seems “normal” in their group, they may not view it as risky at all.
But risk is also how teenagers learn. Taking measured and supported risks helps them understand their identity and build the decision-making muscles they’ll rely on throughout adulthood.
Why positive risks matter
If we know risk-taking is crucial, then our goal isn’t to eliminate risk — it’s to guide it.
Positive risks are challenges that push a young person outside their comfort zone while keeping them safe. They help build resilience, self-awareness, independence, and confidence. Without opportunities to try, fail, and try again, teenagers won’t develop the ability to evaluate risks on their own.
Examples of positive risks include:
• Trying a new sport or hobby
• Speaking up in class
• Learning a new skill
• Making new friends
• Volunteering or taking on part-time work
• Expressing individuality through fashion, hairstyles, or creativity
• Joining a mentoring program like Raise
These experiences are small but meaningful chances for teenagers to test themselves and grow.
Parents, your fears are part of the story
It’s completely natural for parents to worry. Our own thoughts, memories, and fears often influence how comfortable we feel when our child wants to try something new or unfamiliar.
But when we step back and allow measured risks, we give our teenagers: • Autonomy – I can make choices
• Competence – I can handle challenges
• Identity – I’m figuring out who I am
• Trust – My parents believe in me
You might not always agree with the choices your child wants to make, but allowing them small, low‑risk ways to express their independence—whether that’s trying a new hair colour, choosing their own clothing, creating art, or decorating their personal space—can help them explore who they are while staying safe and supported.
Staying connected
Research consistently shows that teenagers who feel connected and supported by their parents handle risky environments better.
Connection acts as a buffer against:
• Substance use
• Peer pressure
• Vandalism
• Unsafe sexual choices
• Online and offline risk-taking
A strong relationship doesn’t mean agreeing with everything they do. It means being present, listening without judgment, and keeping communication open so they feel safe coming to you.
Meeting young people where they are
One of the most powerful ways to stay connected is to meet young people where they are. This means stepping into their world with genuine curiosity and openness. When we sit beside them rather than standing over them, they feel understood instead of being judged.
Being truly present — emotionally, mentally, and sometimes physically — shows them they don’t have to hide their mistakes or fears. Even if it seems like they’re tuning us out, the support we offer is absorbed. It becomes something they can return to later, often at moments when they need it most.
This kind of connection gives them the confidence to take positive risks and the reassurance that they won’t face challenges alone.
Digital and real-life risk: a modern balancing act
Young people today face a mix of traditional risks and new online pressures — from cyberbullying to social media comparison to the need for constant connection.
At the same time, many teens carry real concerns about the world around them, including safety, climate change, and community issues. They are seeking independence while also navigating external stressors.
There’s no single “right” approach. Every young person is different, and every family will draw boundaries in their own way.
Conversation starters for parents
Talking about risk openly helps your teenager feel involved, understood, and respected. Try questions like:
• What does taking a risk mean to you?
• Are there risks you’re interested in taking that you think could be positive?
• What would help you feel supported if something didn’t go as planned?
• How do your friends influence the choices you make?
• What kinds of risks feel unsafe to you — and why?
These conversations build trust and show you’re willing to work together rather than dictate from above.
